Why Submarines are better than woman ! |
1. A submarine will kill you quickly. A woman takes her time.
2. Submarines like it done at all angles.
3. Submarines can be turned on easily anytime.
4. A submarine doesn't mind if you smoke, drink, tell dirty jokes or cuss.
5. A submarine does not object to being rigged for dive.
6. Submarines come with manuals.
7. A submarine is built for going down
8. A submarine once down is quite willing to stay there as long as you want.
9. Submarines are always in trim.
10. You can dive a submarine any time of the month.
11. Submarines don't whine unless something is really wrong.
12. Submarines don't care how many other subs you have sailed
13. Submarines don't come with in-laws.
14. When sailing, you and your submarine arrive at the same time.
15. Submarines don't mind if you look at other submarines or if you buy books and magazines about them.
16. Submarines don't complain if you sleep somewhere else.
17. Submarines don't mind if you stop off for a few beers on the way back.
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Okay, Okay, so it hasn't got any Aussie Subs featured in it and the music is Russian!!!
But hey, there is some bloody great footage involved...!
Certainly Worth Checking Out !!!
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In the beginning was the word, and the word was God and all else was darkness and void without form. So God created the heavens and the earth. He created the sun and the moon and the stars, so that the light might pierce the darkness. And the earth, God divided between the land and the sea, and these he filled with many assorted creatures.
And the dark, salty, slimy creatures that inhabited the seashore, God called ROYAL MARINES, and dressed them accordingly, and the flighty creatures of the air, he called AIRY FAIRIES, and these He clothed in uniforms which were ruffled and foul. And the lower creatures of the sea, God called SKIMMERS, and with a twinkle in His eye and a sense of humor that only He could have, God gave them big gray targets to go to sea on. He gave them many splendid uniforms to wear. He gave them many wonderful and exotic places to visit. He gave them pen and paper so they could write home every week, and He gave them make-and¬mends at sea, and He gave them a laundry to keep their splendid uniforms clean. When your God you tend to get carried away.
And on the 7th day, as you know, God rested, and on the 8th day at 0700, God looked down upon the earth and God was not a happy man. So He thought about His labours, and in His infinite wisdom, God created a divine creature and this He called a SUBMARINER.
And these SUBMARINERS, whom God created in his own image, were to be of the deep, and to them He gave a white woolly jumper, He gave them black steel messengers of death to roam the depths of the sea, waging war against the forces of Satan and evil. He gave them hotels to live in when they were weary from doing God's will. He gave them subsistence so they might entertain the ladies on Saturday nights and impress the hell out of the creatures called SKIMMERS.
And at the end of the 8th day, God looked down upon the earth and say all was good, but God was not happy because, in the course of His labours he had forgotten one thing. He did not have a submariner’s white woolly jumper. But he thought about it and thought about it and finally satisfied Himself knowing that NOT JUST ANYBODY CAN BE A SUBMARINER.
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DIESEL BOATS FOREVER - American Singer& Submariner - Tommy Cox, American Boats...
Still worth a look & Listen, especially if you are into Country and Western Music?!?!
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Real Submarine Chiefs - Did you know one ? |
REAL SUBMARINE CHIEFS: Are the only people that can make "Sir" sound like a four - letter word.
REAL SUBMARINE CHIEFS: Think that Officers should be seen and not heard, and never, ever, be allowed to read books on leadership.
REAL SUBMARINE CHIEFS: Don't eat quiche, they can't even pronounce it.
REAL SUBMARINE CHIEFS: Don't have any civilian clothes.
REAL SUBMARINE CHIEFS: Don't remember any time they weren't Chiefs.
REAL SUBMARINE CHIEFS: Have a coffee pot next to their desk with a tube running from it to their arms.
REAL SUBMARINE CHIEFS: Call each other "Chief."
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REAL SUBMARINE CHIEFS: Propose like this: "There will be a wedding at 1000 hours on 29 October, be there in whites with your gear packed because you will be a prime participant."
REAL SUBMARINE CHIEFS: Don't know how to tell civilian time.
REAL SUBMARINE CHIEFS: Greatest fear is signing for permanent loan items.
REAL SUBMARINE CHIEFS: Dream in Navy Blue, Black, Haze Gray and occasional White thrown in for good measure.
REAL SUBMARINE CHIEFS: Have served on Boats that are now war memorials or tourist attractions.
REAL SUBMARINE CHIEFS: Have the heart of a little boy, kept in a jar on their desk.
REAL SUBMARINE CHIEFS: Call their wife, CINCHOUSE.
REAL SUBMARINE CHIEFS: Have tattoos and are carefully tanned.
REAL SUBMARINE CHIEFS: Can find their way to the Senior Rates Bar, blindfolded, on 15 different Navy Bases.
REAL SUBMARINE CHIEFS: Have pictures of Boats in their wallets instead of their wife and kids.
REAL SUBMARINE CHIEFS: Don't own any pens that do not have "MOD Property" on them.
REAL SUBMARINE CHIEFS: Don't order supplies, they swap for them.
REAL SUBMARINE CHIEFS: Don't drink, not since the invention of the funnel.
REAL SUBMARINE CHIEFS: Love quotes. Their favourite is from the movie Ben Hur, "We keep you alive to serve this ship. |
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